The Thesis Statement

The thesis statement is that sentence or two in your text that contains the focus of your essay and tells your reader what the essay is going to be about. Although it is certainly possible to write a good essay without a thesis statement (many narrative essays, for example, contain only an implied thesis statement), the lack of a thesis statement may well be a symptom of an essay beset by a lack of focus. Many writers think of a thesis statement as an umbrella: everything that you carry along in your essay has to fit under this umbrella, and if you try to take on packages that don't fit, you will either have to get a bigger umbrella or something's going to get wet.

The thesis statement is also a good test for the scope of your intent. The principle to remember is that when you try to do too much, you end up doing less or nothing at all. Can we write a good paper about problems in higher education in the United States? At best, such a paper would be vague and scattered in its approach. Can we write a good paper about problems in higher education in Connecticut? Well, we're getting there, but that's still an awfully big topic, something we might be able to handle in a book or a Ph.D. dissertation, but certainly not in a paper meant for a Composition course. Can we write a paper about problems within the community college system in Connecticut. Now we're narrowing down to something useful, but once we start writing such a paper, we would find that we're leaving out so much information, so many ideas that even most casual brainstorming would produce, that we're not accomplishing much. What if we wrote about the problem of community colleges in Connecticut being so close together geographically that they tend to duplicate programs unnecessarily and impinge on each other's turf? Now we have a focus that we can probably write about in a few pages (although more, certainly, could be said) and it would have a good argumentative edge to it. To back up such a thesis statement would require a good deal of work, however, and we might be better off if we limited the discussion to an example of how two particular community colleges tend to work in conflict with each other. It's not a matter of being lazy; it's a matter of limiting our discussion to the work that can be accomplished within a certain number of pages.

The thesis statement should remain flexible until the paper is actually finished. It ought to be one of the last things that we fuss with in the rewriting process. If we discover new information in the process of writing our paper that ought to be included in the thesis statement, then we'll have to rewrite our thesis statement. On the other hand, if we discover that our paper has done adequate work but the thesis statement appears to include things that we haven't actually addressed, then we need to limit that thesis statement. If the thesis statement is something that we needed prior approval for, changing it might require the permission of the instructor or thesis committee, but it is better to seek such permission than to write a paper that tries to do too much or that claims to do less than it actually accomplishes.

The thesis statement usually appears near the beginning of a paper. It can be the first sentence of an essay, but that often feels like a simplistic, unexciting beginning. It more frequently appears at or near the end of the first paragraph or two. Here is the first paragraph of Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.'s essay The Crisis of American Masculinity. Notice how everything drives the reader toward the last sentence and how that last sentence clearly signals what the rest of this essay is going to do.
What has happened to the American male? For a long time, he seemed utterly confident in his manhood, sure of his masculine role in society, easy and definite in his sense of sexual identity. The frontiersmen of James Fenimore Cooper, for example, never had any concern about masculinity; they were men, and it did not occur to them to think twice about it. Even well into the twentieth century, the heroes of Dreiser, of Fitzgerald, of Hemingway remain men. But one begins to detect a new theme emerging in some of these authors, especially in Hemingway: the theme of the male hero increasingly preoccupied with proving his virility to himself. And by mid-century, the male role had plainly lost its rugged clarity of outline. Today men are more and more conscious of maleness not as a fact but as a problem. The ways by which American men affirm their masculinity are uncertain and obscure. There are multiplying signs, indeed, that something has gone badly wrong with the American male's conception of himself.

The first paragraph serves as kind of a funnel opening to the essay which draws and invites readers into the discussion, which is then focused by the thesis statement before the work of the essay actually begins. You will discover that some writers will delay the articulation of the paper's focus, its thesis, until the very end of the paper. That is possible if it is clear to thoughtful readers throughout the paper what the business of the essay truly is; frankly, it's probably not a good idea for beginning writers.

Avoid announcing the thesis statement as if it were a thesis statement. In other words, avoid using phrases such as "The purpose of this paper is . . . . " or "In this paper, I will attempt to . . . ." Such phrases betray this paper to be the work of an amateur. If necessary, write the thesis statement that way the first time; it might help you determine, in fact, that this is your thesis statement. But when you rewrite your paper, eliminate the bald assertion that this is your thesis statement and write the statement itself without that annoying, unnecessary preface.

Here are the first two paragraphs of George Orwell's classic essay, "Politics and the English Language" (1946). Which of these sentences would you say is or are the thesis statement of the essay which is to follow? Everything that follows in this essay, then, would have to be something that fits under the "umbrella" of that thesis statement.

Most people who bother with the matter at all would admit that the English language is in a bad way, but it is generally assumed that we cannot by conscious action do anything about it. Our civilization is decadent, and our language—so the argument runs—must inevitably share in the general collapse. It follows that any struggle against the abuse of language is a sentimental archaism, like preferring candles to electric light or hansom cabs to aeroplanes. Underneath this lies the half-conscious belief that language is a natural growth and not an instrument which we shape for our own purposes.

Now, it is clear that the decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes: it is not due simply to the bad influence of this or that individual writer. But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form, and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language. It becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts. The point is that the process is reversible. Modern English, especially written English, is full of bad habits which spread by imitation and which can be avoided if one is willing to take the necessary trouble. If one gets rid of these habits one can think more clearly, and to think clearly is a necessary first step towards political regeneration: so that the fight against bad English is not frivolous and is not the exclusive concern of professional writers. I will come back to this presently, and I hope that by that time the meaning of what I have said here will have become clearer. Meanwhile, here are five specimens of the English language as it is now habitually written.

Coherence:
Transitions
Between Ideas




















The most convincing ideas in the world,
expressed in the most beautiful sentences, will move no one unless
those ideas are properly connected. Unless readers can move easily from
one thought to another, they will surely find something else to read or
turn on the television.







Providing transitions between ideas is largely a matter of attitude. You
must never assume that your readers know what you know. In fact, it's a
good idea to assume not only that your readers need all the information
that you have and need to know how you arrived at the point you're at,
but also that they are not quite as quick as you are. You might be able
to leap from one side of the stream to the other; believe that your
readers need some stepping stones and be sure to place them in readily
accessible and visible spots.







There are four basic mechanical considerations in providing transitions
between ideas: using transitional expressions, repeating key words and
phrases, using pronoun reference, and using parallel form.








USING TRANSITIONAL TAGS



Transitional tags run the gamut from the most simple — the little conjunctions: and, but, nor, for, yet, or, (and sometimes) so — to more complex signals that ideas are somehow connected — the conjunctive adverbs and transitional expressions such as however, moreover, nevertheless, on the other hand.

For additional information on conjunctions, click HERE .

The use of the little conjunctions — especially and and but
— comes naturally for most writers. However, the question whether one
can begin a sentence with a small conjunction often arises. Isn't the
conjunction at the beginning of the sentence a sign that the sentence
should have been connected to the prior sentence? Well, sometimes, yes.
But often the initial conjunction calls attention to the sentence in an
effective way, and that's just what you want. Over-used, beginning a
sentence with a conjunction can be distracting, but the device can add a
refreshing dash to a sentence and speed the narrative flow of your
text. Restrictions against beginning a sentence with and or but
are based on shaky grammatical foundations; some of the most
influential writers in the language have been happily ignoring such
restrictions for centuries.*








Here is a chart of the transitional devices (also called conjunctive adverbs or adverbial conjunctions ) accompanied with a simplified definition of function (note that some devices appear with more than one definition):

addition	again, also, and, and then, besides, equally important, finally, first, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, last, moreover, next, second, still, too
comparison	also, in the same way, likewise, similarly
concession	granted, naturally, of course
contrast	although, and yet, at the same time, but at the same time, despite that, even so, even though, for all that, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, on the other hand, otherwise, regardless, still, though, yet
emphasis	certainly, indeed, in fact, of course
example or illustration	after all, as an illustration, even, for example, for instance, in conclusion, indeed, in fact, in other words, in short, it is true, of course, namely, specifically, that is, to illustrate, thus, truly
summary	all in all, altogether, as has been said, finally, in brief, in conclusion, in other words, in particular, in short, in simpler terms, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to put it differently, to summarize
time sequence	after a while, afterward, again, also, and then, as long as, at last, at length, at that time, before, besides, earlier, eventually, finally, formerly, further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, in the past, last, lately, meanwhile, moreover, next, now, presently, second, shortly, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, still, subsequently, then, thereafter, too, until, until now, when

A word of caution:
Do not interlard your text with transitional expressions merely because
you know these devices connect ideas. They must appear, naturally,
where they belong, or they'll stick like a fishbone in your reader's
craw. (For that same reason, there is no point in trying to memorize
this vast list.) On the other hand, if you can read your entire essay
and discover none of these transitional devices, then you must wonder
what, if anything, is holding your ideas together. Practice by inserting a tentative however, nevertheless, consequently. Reread the essay later to see if these words provide the glue you needed at those points.



Repetition of Key Words and Phrases






The ability to connect ideas by means of repetition of key words and
phrases sometimes meets a natural resistance based on the fear of being
repetitive. We've been trained to loathe redundancy. Now we must learn
that catching a word or phrase that's important to a reader's
comprehension of a piece and replaying that word or phrase creates a
musical motif in that reader's head. Unless it is overworked and
obtrusive, repetition lends itself to a sense of coherence (or at least
to the illusion of coherence). Remember Lincoln's advice:

<blockquote>
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people
some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.</blockquote>



In fact, you can't forget Lincoln's advice, because it has become part of the music of our language.



Remember to use this device to link paragraphs as well as sentences.



Pronoun Reference






Pronouns quite naturally connect ideas because pronouns almost always
refer the reader to something earlier in the text. I cannot say "This
is true because . . ." without causing the reader to consider what
"this" could mean. Thus, the pronoun causes the reader to sum up,
quickly and subconsciously, what was said before (what this is) before going on to the because part of my reasoning.



We should hardly need to add, however, that it must always be perfectly
clear what a pronoun refers to. If my reader cannot instantly know what this is, then my sentence is ambiguous and misleading. Also, do not rely on unclear pronoun references to avoid responsibility: "They say that . . ."



Parallelism






Music in prose is often the result of
parallelism, the deliberate repetition of larger structures of phrases,
even clauses and whole sentences. We urge you to read the Guide's
section on Parallelism
and take the accompanying quiz on recognizing parallel form (and
repairing sentences that ought to use parallel form but don't). Pay
special attention to the guided tour through the parallel intricacies
within Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.




Coherence Devices in Action

In our section on writing the Argumentative Essay , we have a complete student essay ("Cry, Wolf" — at the bottom of that document) which we have analyzed in terms of argumentative development and in which we have paid special attention to the connective devices holding ideas together.

Look at the following paragraph:


<blockquote>

The ancient Egyptians were masters of preserving dead people's bodies by
making mummies of them. Mummies several thousand years old have been
discovered nearly intact. The skin, hair, teeth, fingernails and
toenails, and facial features of the mummies were evident. It is
possible to diagnose the disease they suffered in life, such as
smallpox, arthritis, and nutritional deficiencies. The process was
remarkably effective. Sometimes apparent were the fatal afflictions of
the dead people: a middle-aged king died from a blow on the head, and
polio killed a child king. Mummification consisted of removing the
internal organs, applying natural preservatives inside and out, and then
wrapping the body in layers of bandages.</blockquote>



Though weak, this paragraph is not a total washout. It starts with a
topic sentence, and the sentences that follow are clearly related to the
topic sentence. In the language of writing, the paragraph is unified (i.e., it contains no irrelevant details). However, the paragraph is not coherent. The sentences are disconnected from each other, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought.




Below is the same paragraph revised for coherence. Italics indicates pronouns and repeated/restated key words, bold indicates transitional tag-words, and underlining indicates parallel structures.


<blockquote>The ancient Egyptians were masters of preserving dead people's bodies by making mummies of them. In short , mummification
consisted of removing the internal organs, applying natural
preservatives inside and out, and then wrapping the body in layers of
bandages. And the process was remarkably effective. [b]Indeed , mummies several thousand years old have been discovered nearly intact. Their skin, hair, teeth, fingernails and toenails, and facial features are [b]still evident. Their diseases in life, such as smallpox, arthritis, and nutritional deficiencies, are still diagnosable. Even their fatal afflictions are still apparent: a middle-aged king died from a blow on the head; a child king died from polio.</blockquote>

The paragraph is now much more coherent. The organization of the
information and the links between sentences help readers move easily
from one sentence to the next. Notice how this writer uses a variety of
coherence devices, sometimes in combination, to achieve overall
paragraph coherence.


*Authority: The New Fowler's Modern English Usage edited by R.W. Burchfield. Clarendon Press: Oxford, England. 1996. Used with the permission of Oxford University Press.